In honor of Valentine’s Day next week I figured I would spread the love by sharing some secrets for my (unmarried) male blog readers. Here are 14 things girls say translated into what they actually mean.
By the way- I wrote this back when I was a single lady. By now realize I have to actually say what I’m thinking because married men don’t try as hard as single men.
1. “We don’t need to do anything special.”
Translation: “It better be extravagant.”
2. “Where did you get those shorts (that shirt, that hat, etc.)?”
Translation: “You look ridiculous. Please never wear that again.”
3. After you make plans and ask if they are okay: “That’s fine…”
Translation: “That is not fine.”
4. “Does this shirt look silly on me?”
Translation: “You better tell me I’m smokin’ hot.”
5. After you arrive at a restaurant: “I’m not that hungry…”
Translation: “I’m starving but I want you to think I eat healthy so I probably won’t order much then eat all of yours.”
6. “I’m getting kind of tired.”
Translation: “Take me home already. This is getting creepy.”
7. After messaging a girl on Facebook: No response.
Translation: “You’re a creep.”
8. After she gets her wallet out and you offer to pay: “Oh, you don’t have to do that!”
Translation: “I can’t believe I had enough time to get my wallet all the way out of my purse.”
9. “Don’t let me win!”
Translation: “Let me win, but don’t let me know you let me.”
10. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Translation: “You BETTER.”
11. *While in a store: “I think _______ is so cute, but I’m not going to spend that much.”
Translation: “This is what I want you to get me for Christmas/birthday/etc.”
12. “I’m almost ready.”
Translation: “It’ll be at least an hour.”
13. “I’m craving chocolate.”
Translation: “If you do as much as breathe too loud over the course of this next week, I’m either going to bite your head off or cry.”
14. “I need a girls night”
Translation: “I’m going to be talking about you…negatively.”
Ladies, anything I left out? Comment below.
Want more awkward content? Subscribe here.