I had two loves growing up: youth group and softball. I got a high from both of those activities that nothing else gave me.

My church friends were my closest friends. Plus, I thought a few of the older boys in the youth group hung the moon. (Now I married one and I realize he doesn’t even hang up his towel but that’s a different blog…)

But more than all of that, I can truly say that I had an unquenchable fire for the Lord that was growing inside of me at a very fast rate. And church fed that. I even wanted to be a missionary one day thanks to the influence I was gaining at church.

I also loved softball. Scraped knees, dirt under the nails, and horrible tan lines were my fashion statement. I had dreams of playing ball in college, but I quickly realized playing high school ball three months out of the year wouldn’t get me there. It became a year-round effort that required me to play on a travel team as well.

There was one problem: Travel ball meant playing on Sundays in the summers.

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My entire life abortion has been a topic I’ve worked hard to avoid. Because my entire life abortions have happened, people have argued, and abortions just keep happening.

I distinctly remember being in debate class my junior year of high school when the topic of abortion was announced. I sat and listened as the “right wing” and “left wing” of the classroom yelled back and forth about women’s rights and the definition of life.

Usually a very outspoken member of the class, I didn’t say one word that day. I put my head down to join the “sleepers” in the classroom, giving me an automatic zero.

But I wasn’t sleeping. I was crying.

The word “shy” is not the choice adjective most of my friends use when describing me, but put me with a group of new people and I am instantly the wallflower. Whether it’s a new team, new school, or new church, I’ve proven to be an introvert over and over again in situations where I’m the “new one”.

But, without fail, there always comes that one fateful day when I wake up, go to that new place, and realize that I accidentally left my filter at home.

Unfortunately for the friends I’ve made since moving to Ohio, I’ve recently noticed I misplaced my filter again.

All of the sudden it seems like half of my sentences begin with, “I know this is T.M.I., but…”

In early engagement, when I first began thinking about the idea of “two becoming one” I sort of pictured it like the process of combining chocolate chips with cookie dough. In other words, the following equation:

Something Incredible + Something Incredible =
Something Super-Duper Incredible.

That’s bull.

Two words start with “D-E” that sometimes have the same connotation to me. One is devil. The other is debt.

It’s now 5 a.m. on a Saturday morning after a sleepless night, and I’ll be honest, it’s one of those days when “devil” and “debt” seem synonymous.

I grew up listening to Dave Ramsey whenever I was in my dad’s truck and even had to read one of his books before I got my first cell phone. So being newly married, 25, and knee-deep in debt sometimes makes me feel like I’m failing at life.

Brandon and I would both very much like to be out of debt before we have children or buy a house.

But as many of our friends begin that process, I can’t help but feel like we will never get there.

Maybe you feel that way too.