It’s 5:45 a.m. and Brandon just handed me the cute coffee mug I convinced him I just had to have in order to stay motivated to blog last winter. After not blogging for three months, guilt wins the day.  It just feels wrong to sip that $10.99 Francesca’s mug reading “Blogging Day” without really blogging, don’t you think?

Also, it’s bad when your opening paragraph is off-subject already.

Oh, wait no, I think I can make a Segway.

Blogging. I really do love it. I get to ramble through my insane thought processes and then the World Wide Web lets me publish them…for free. People from all 50 states, China, England, Mexico, Iceland – they ALL have access to my blog – because these thoughts are that good (currently my readership is more like my mom and my cousin, but the cousin is in Iowa so that’s a really big deal).

I got off-subject again. Let me retry that paragraph.

Blogging. Why do I have time all of the sudden?

Oh yeah, my husband quit his job last week.

My dog, Izzy, sure is cute, but she isn’t the brightest pup in the land.

So when she saw a skunk at 11 p.m. last night, she decided it wanted to play.

Three peroxide, Dawn and baking soda bath’s later I’m pretty sure she regrets that decision.

Well, I’d like to think that, but let’s be honest- if given the chance, she’d probably go back for round two.

Want to know what is even better about my dog getting skunked? I didn’t realize she was sprayed until she had been in the house 10 minutes. When the putrid smell filled my nostrils after letting her in, I instead spent my time trying to figure out if the tenants upstairs were using Nair on their hairy man legs.

That gave Izzy plenty of time to lay on two couches, two rugs and the carpet in the guest room.

Thanks, Izzy.

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In honor of Valentine’s Day next week I figured I would spread the love by sharing some secrets for my (unmarried) male blog readers. Here are 14 things girls say translated into what they actually mean.

By the way- I wrote this back when I was a single lady. By now realize I have to actually say what I’m thinking because married men don’t try as hard as single men.

Is it really already that time of year again? The Super Bowl party invites have been sent and you are undoubtedly going to be surrounded by a crowd of people, some of which are there for more than the food and commercials. If you are clueless to the football world, as am I, but find yourself wanting to impress your friends, boyfriend or husband, you’ve stumbled upon the right blog.

Here are 10 tips for clueless women watching the Super Bowl this year:

My husband can’t be trusted with Snapchat.

Here are 12 reasons I made him delete his…