26 intelligent thoughts from an unfortunate 26 year old….
- I’m old.
- Should I have kids by now?
- …Nah.
- Am I really that old though? 26 is young, right?
- No, I’m ancient.
- I’m literally closer to 30 than I am 20.
- I have wrinkle lines already.
- Doesn’t my dog count as a kid?
- I’m afraid if I had a human kid I would still like Izzy more…
- I should workout.
- Nah, it’s my birthday.
- Yesterday was also an off day because it was the day before my birthday.
- I’ll probably take tomorrow off, because, well…it’s the day after my birthday.
- Crap, I have already been in the best shape of my life, haven’t I?
- How do you even celebrate 26?
- There really are no exciting birthdays left, are there?
- I really should watch the news more than I do. I’m an adult.
- Should I stop watching my Hannah Montana DVDs now?
- …Nah
- I really need to set up a living will.
- No joke my Brandon’s dumb dog just vomited as I was writing this. So not my kid.
- I can’t believe I’m 26 and I still haven’t met Brian Littrell.
- Shoot, I can’t have a human kid. I’d have to memorize another social security number.
- Also, why the heck did I wake up with a zit this morning? Wasn’t that phase supposed to be done a few years ago.
- Wait! The zit is a great thing! It means I’m young. Happy birthday to me!
- Did Izzy really just lick me with her vomit mouth on my birthday? This is the definition of going downhill…
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