Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest things for us adults, aren’t they?

Trusting.

Forgiving.

Letting go.

Accepting.

Believing.

Relaxing.

I’ve found the older I get, the more complicated those things become. Shouldn’t it be opposite? Shouldn’t growing up and maturing mean getting better at this whole life thing?

But when I think about someone who is able to do all of those things well – trust, forgive, let go, accept, believe, relax…the first picture that comes to mind is that of a child.

A kid.

To be more specific, I think of the kid that was a part of the family next to me at the public pool last summer (side-note: the public pool is a miserable experience past the age of 13). This little boy, probably six, embodied many of these words within just a few minutes.

It all started when he and his little brother, maybe four years old, were taking turns jumping off the side of the pool into their dad’s arms. And by “taking turns” I mean the younger brother kept taking his turn and cutting off Johny (yes, I just named the older one Johny because, well, that’s just a classic kid name and it felt right).

Today marks Part 2 of our series centered on pornography and how it affects women, particularly in the church (go here for Part 1). I want to make it clear that my dear husband is fighting the good fight and is finding victory in this area. I also want to make it clear that I’m not writing anything that has not been approved, and even encouraged by him. We both agree there seems to be a lack of understanding and help for women that are affected by pornography and we hope that together we can begin talking about the issues of porn and lust in a way that isn’t often talked about. Our prayer is that it begins conversations that need to be had and offers help to women who feel like they are barely hanging on.

I’ve been a part of three churches now in which a pastor has stepped down or been let go of due to unresolved lust issues. Still, it took me getting married to begin to actually explore the subject of lust from the male perspective. I found it was much harder to shake off the deep, unresolved fears residing within me in the confines of a marriage.

After we got married, Brandon and I began having conversations I hated but couldn’t help but continue. I’m thankful to have a husband that has not shied away from answering my questions.

But when I began to fully understand the threat of lust in the life of a man, I was devastated. And I had no idea what to do with it.

None of my friends talked about this subject. None of my church families growing up tackled the subject.

So I reacted by doing what was natural to me: I turned inward.

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From the time I was a young girl, my faith was something I took seriously. I loved learning about this incredible God of the Bible that loved me in my sin, so much so He sent His own son to take my place in death. I loved reading that He is alive and that He works everything for my good and His glory. And I loved the realization that the pages of Scripture I read were God-breathed and alive, applicable to my day-to-day life. I believed all of it.

Or so I thought.

Then freshman year of college happened. And along with the regular ups and downs that come with freshman year, it was the most stressful year my family had ever experienced.

The oddest thing happened to me at church a few weeks ago. After service, I was standing in a circle talking to my friends when all of the sudden, a complete stranger grabbed my arm and announced, “Hi! I’m Karen!” I turned around to find a petite, smiling redhead, about my age that I had definitely never seen before.

Karen proceeded to tell me how her and her husband were new to the area and were wondering how they could get plugged into a community group. I told them about my group and, what do you know, they ending up coming that week! Now Karen and Kyle are regular members of our group, active participants, and new friends.

I left church that day I met Karen thinking, “Man, why didn’t I just do that in college?” Instead of grabbing a random church member and asking how to get plugged in, I spent year after year visiting churches for a while and waiting for someone to come grab MY hand and say, “Come be a part of our group!”

This is a guest post written by my dear friend, Samantha Crick. We lived in the same town as each other for less than a year, but when I needed someone’s Christ-like love and a place to crash she was the first to come to mind and the first to open her door. Grab a cup of coffee, lean back and take in just a drop of this sweet girl’s wisdom-

One of the most common disordered desires for women is perfectionism, a particular righteousness and perfection we yearn for apart from Christ. It’s not in all women and many men I am sure can relate, but it is overwhelmingly true that as women, we desire to be perfect.