“Jesus first, others second, and yourself last.”

It was a dictum ingrained in my mind growing up in church. If I’m a Christian then others’ needs should always precede my own, right?

Heck, the Bible makes it clear. Look at what Paul says in Philippians:
“In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

It seemed as plain as day to me. How could anyone argue that you can follow God and put yourself above others? It’s an oxymoron.

But about a year ago, someone did argue it to me.

The challenger wasn’t a non-Christian either… it was my Bible study leader, friend, and mentor – easily one of the most giving, loving, and servant-hearted people I’ve ever met.

That caught my attention.

The oddest thing happened to me at church a few weeks ago. After service, I was standing in a circle talking to my friends when all of the sudden, a complete stranger grabbed my arm and announced, “Hi! I’m Karen!” I turned around to find a petite, smiling redhead, about my age that I had definitely never seen before.

Karen proceeded to tell me how her and her husband were new to the area and were wondering how they could get plugged into a community group. I told them about my group and, what do you know, they ending up coming that week! Now Karen and Kyle are regular members of our group, active participants, and new friends.

I left church that day I met Karen thinking, “Man, why didn’t I just do that in college?” Instead of grabbing a random church member and asking how to get plugged in, I spent year after year visiting churches for a while and waiting for someone to come grab MY hand and say, “Come be a part of our group!”

My grandfather is a minister, my father is a pastor, and I’ve worked in a church.

I’ve seen dirt.

After living in four cities and being a part of three church-splits, I have felt my fair deal of pain. I have felt the confusion when friends begin doubting church leadership I have trusted. I’ve felt the anger when people leave the church without explaining why. I’ve felt the world tip sideways when a pastor’s secret life is exposed.

I’ve felt a lot.

But I don’t have to tell you that. The reality is if you are a Christian, you’ve felt a lot too by now.