Today marks Part 3 of our series centered on pornography and how it affects women, particularly in the church (go here for Part 1, here for Part 2). I want to make it clear that my dear husband is fighting the good fight and is finding victory in this area. I also want to make it clear that I’m not writing anything that has not been approved, and even encouraged by him. We both agree there seems to be a lack of understanding and help for women that are affected by pornography and we hope that together we can begin talking about the issues of porn and lust in a way that isn’t often talked about. Our prayer is that it begins conversations that need to be had and offers help to women who feel like they are barely hanging on
I’ll never forget that horrific line I read in that popular, Christian marriage book that Brandon and I were told to read during our pre-marital counseling. It went something like this,
”The wife lacking in spontaneity may unknowingly be driving her husband into the arms of another woman.”
Ugh. What bull.
It has taken a long time to reverse the damage that one line made on my heart during those fragile months of engagement. I read that line over and over again, internalizing the idea that if I was not “enough” for my husband sexually then I would lead him to an affair.
Don’t get me wrong, that book had a lot of great points. And the author was trying to show wives the importance of loving their husbands physically, but the notion that a woman is ever responsible for her husband staying faithful to her is a lie from the pit of hell.
This blog was not an original part of the series I had in mind, but after hearing from so many women via private messages or emails, I decided we couldn’t have this series without making this one truth clear for a wife struggling with a husband’s lust issue. So let’s go on and throw it out there.
Have you ever been caught in the middle of a storm while driving on the highway? I’m talking about the kind of storm when you can’t even see out your windshield the rain is coming down so hard, let alone see the cars around you.
I was caught in one with my husband just a couple weeks ago. We were passing through Cincinnati headed home when the downpour began. I knew that if we were going to make it out of this thing I had to stay focused on the road ahead, remain calm, and keep my eyes and ears open. My muscles were on high alert, ready to make a last-second move if a car slammed on its brakes or an accident occurred in front of us. I knew if I even as much blinked I was putting us in danger.
There was one issue with all of this, though…
Brandon was.
But for some reason I felt like my focus and attention was somehow keeping us safe and controlling the situation.
Have I ever mentioned I’m a recovering control-freak?
Well here’s what I’m learning lately…
From the time I was a young girl, my faith was something I took seriously. I loved learning about this incredible God of the Bible that loved me in my sin, so much so He sent His own son to take my place in death. I loved reading that He is alive and that He works everything for my good and His glory. And I loved the realization that the pages of Scripture I read were God-breathed and alive, applicable to my day-to-day life. I believed all of it.
Then freshman year of college happened. And along with the regular ups and downs that come with freshman year, it was the most stressful year my family had ever experienced.
Well, the day is finally here – our first anniversary! Year one is officially in the books!
Photo Credit: Love The Renauds
I’ve thought about this day many times thanks to the classic “We Had the Best Year Ever” Anniversary Facebook Posts –an expected post of course if you follow the unspoken Facebook protocol. Which is exactly why I made sure to post something special myself.
But I can’t help but think that many of the thoughts I have about this first year are a lot different than what I thought I would be thinking (that’s a lot of thoughts/thinking in one sentence…my head hurts).
